Learning to Let Go
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There is an old saying that if you want something done, delegate it to a busy person. Well, that’s great news for those delegating, but it can be hard on the busy person. Trust me, I know, since I’m a full-fledged member of the busier-than-thou society. Wearing my badge with honor, I would race off to meetings with planner and cell phone in hand, ready to tackle any and every task thrown my way. My corporate Girl Scout image was polished and perfected, a role that was no doubt influenced by being the youngest daughter in a family of sons.
But as my professional opportunities increased, I wanted to be more than just the person carrying out the day-to-day tasks. I wanted the big job. At my neighborhood Indian restaurant, I pondered my dilemma. Simultaneously, my struggling waitress was pondering how to please her demanding section. When delivering bread to the next table, she uttered a famous phrase that led to my epiphany: “I am the only waitress here tonight and I can’t do everything myself!” Looking for inspiration over chicken tikka masala, I began to see just how impossible it is for one person to do it all themselves.
And why should I have to? Unlike the waitress, global resources abound: Virtual assistants, business managers, and QuickBooks are all at my fingertips. So it was not that I did not have opportunity, I just lacked motivation. To learn more about the obstacles holding me back, I decided to hold a therapy session with my inner control freak. Need to open up your own lines of communication? Ask yourself the following questions—you may be surprised at your answers.
1. What is the worst thing that could happen if you were to delegate? Would you be able to fix it?
2. Do you think that you are the only person who can get the job done?
3. Have you ever made a mistake and had to come up with a quick fix? Were you able to solve the problem without emotion?
4. Would you be able to solve the same problem if it were caused by others?
5. Do you think you are saving time by doing it yourself?
Did you answer yes to one or more of these questions? Your problems might have more to do with trust and breaking patterns. You’re so accustomed to going it alone, you may not even realize that there are people around you who can help. Start by delegating smaller tasks—do you really need to update the office phone list when your intern is capable of doing it?—and be really detailed about what you want. Also, don’t have a meltdown if the person doesn’t do something exactly the way you would have done it. Just as long as you’re happy with the end result, who cares how it came to be? Also, if a task isn’t in your area of expertise, it’s crying to be handed off to someone else. The project—and your sanity—will benefit from delegating. Plus, you can focus your time on the things you are good at—and maybe even get a promotion to boot.
As for me, the biggest lesson I learned was that it’s okay if I, or one of my co-workers, make a mistake. Life still goes on. It’s like one of my favorite bosses once told me: Mistakes are inevitable—it’s how you fix them that counts. Now I know that I don’t have to solve them alone.