Cocktail Etiquette
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Less clearly defined than an official company party – after work drinks can be a bit tricky to negotiate. Mixing cocktails and coworkers can be a deadly brew. But with a few simple guidelines you can actually enjoy yourself while ensuring that your name isn’t whispered around the water cooler the next day.
First Things First
Is it drinks or is it work? Though the lines may be blurry – the truth is; its work. It’s not that you can’t ever relax and be yourself. You can – but do so strategically. This is really just a chance to network and bond with your peers. In other words, you can loosen up – but you can’t let it all hang out. Still too vague? Read on.
The Chat Up
Don’t be afraid to let the conversation get a bit personal. This is a great opportunity to find out more about who your coworkers really are. In this atmosphere everyone (especially superiors) will be more approachable and spontaneous. But take care not to hold anyone hostage. One great conversation can do wonders to strengthen alliances, but resist launching into long stories about your childhood or anything remotely tragic. ALWAYS avoid polarizing topics like religion and politics. There’s nothing worse than the blowhard who alienates half the room with his brilliant insights on world policy.
When to Say When
Once in a blue moon a coworker will get tipsy and reveal a previously unknown charm. I remember the night the accounting guy broke lose with a dreadful song and dance number from his days as a cruise ship performer. Sure, he may have regretted it, but the departure from his usual buttoned up manner made the rest of us warm to him. It was so bad it was good. But for every story like this there’s a handful of the other kind-
There’s the woman who propositioned her married male boss loudly enough to be overheard in a bustling bar. There’s the friend of mine who threw up in her officemate’s purse at a sales conference fête (why do otherwise reasonable people ditch their boundaries when traveling out of town?). There’s the time I was the target of a feeble drunken come on courtesy of my then cubicle-mate. Strangely, I failed to be wooed by a slurred comparison to the Venus de Milo (try saying it with a spitty lisp and your eyes closed). My point – why risk it? Pace yourself. A good rule of thumb is one alcoholic beverage an hour. Try drinking a club soda with lime or a splash of cranberry for an undercover spacer between cocktails.
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
It’s important to know how to make an exit. Most women I admire recommend staying an hour to an hour and a half tops. Just long enough to greet everyone, have a laugh, and get out before things have a chance to get ugly.
The Aftermath
The absolute golden rule: If you do overindulge you must still show up for work the next day. Suffer in silence. If you embarrassed yourself the night before realize that it’s rarely grounds for anything more serious than gossip. But if you call in sick, you will lose the respect of your coworkers and may be penalized for the obvious lie.
What to Wear
If you go plan to go out straight from work then this is a no brainer – freshen up that lipstick and voila! But if you do have a chance to run home and change, beware of two common snafus. Resist the urge to overdress. Everyone snickers at the woman rocking an evening gown at the corporate holiday party. There’s just something about it that says broken radar. Don’t display too much skin. Even at a hole-in-the-wall bar – as long as you are with colleagues it’s inappropriate to debut a plunging neckline or skirt slit up to here. There’s a whiff of desperation to it, the polar opposite of what you want to convey as a professional woman.