It’s hard to pinpoint the moment when my once-upon-a-time sweet supervisor crossed the line and morphed into the boss from hell.
After all, there were so many moments that could have been the defining one:
- The time she asked me to buy her tampons and bring them to her at home. (She was working from home. This makes it OK, right?)
- The night she sent me to three, yes, three different Targets, searching for a sale priced bowl for a company event.
- And perhaps my favorite: the day she enlisted me to help her plan a charity fundraiser. A good idea, or so it seemed. But at 1:30 AM when I was standing in a cold empty field with my tipsy boss and a glass of flat bubbly, a lost purse, and dozens of unreconciled bar tabs and credit card slips, I began to seriously question my sanity.
There are dozens more sad stories. I did all her dirty work and she got all the glory. I fired consultants and told the graphic designer we didn’t like any of the designs. I spent a day researching glue.
Strangely it never occurred to me that I was being taken advantage of. Perhaps it was because I was too busy earning my measly paycheck and using my lunch break to buy groceries, birthday presents, party favors and clothing for my boss-turned-diva.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. And, no, I’m not crazy, just slightly misguided.
Here’s where I went wrong:
- I became a YES woman. I heard that hard work and diligence were lacking in the work force. So I said yes to everything. The result? The demands got bigger and more ridiculous. I continued to smile and nod.
- I never said NO. You may think this is the same thing as always saying yes, but it isn’t. Example: “Do you want to stop at the paper store tonight and check out invites?” I could have said “I can’t,” or “I’ll check on-line,” or “I’ll call and make an appointment for both of us on Tuesday.” Instead, I spent my cocktail hour pricing paper.
- I kept my private life private. Normally this would be a good thing. In my case it wasn’t. My tight-lipped approach to what I did after hours led my boss to believe I did nothing. Even worse, she assumed that because I didn’t have a significant other or children there was absolutely nothing of merit I could be doing. I know this because she said it to me. The words “it’s not like you have anything else to do” escaped her lips before she could catch herself.
The worst part? She never said thanks. And I certainly never heard “good job,” or “nicely done.”
I wish I could report that I finally told my boss to shove it. But I didn’t. Instead I slog through the thankless, praise-less days and plan revenge. Someday I will quit. And someday she will realize that without me she is totally screwed. Visions of her frightened, worried face are almost enough to get me through even the worst days. Almost.
