Quiz: How Confrontational Are You?
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Are you the type who’d rather grin and bear it than “make trouble”? Or does someone end up in tears if (God forbid) your salad dressing doesn’t come on the side? Take this quiz and find out!
1. While browsing an online job site, you come across an opening at your company that sounds remarkably like that promotion you’ve been hoping for. You:
A. Storm out and never come back. You’ll show them!
B. Tell your boss what you’ve seen, and wait for her to explain.
C. Curl up under your desk and cry.
2. Your boyfriend’s cell phone has been ringing late at night. He lets it go to voice-mail every time. The next time it rings, you:
A. Answer it and bellow, “Who is this???!”
B. Look him dead in the eye and tell him it’s time to tighten up his game.
C. Don’t mention it. You know he hates it when you act insecure.
3. You told your best friend a secret. Surprise—she blabbed! You:
A. Eighty-six the bigmouth from your life. She obviously isn’t trustworthy.
B. Have a heart-to-heart with her over lunch—then let it go. We’ve all been guilty of loose lips.
C. Pretend nothing’s wrong, but make catty remarks when her name comes up.
4. At a staff meeting, a colleague takes credit for your idea. You:
A. Jump up and exclaim, “Thief!”
B. Send her an e-mail afterwards. Subject line: You Owe Me One.
C. Eat five doughnuts.
5. Your signif gives you a blender for your birthday. Your reaction?
A. Dump the contents of his wallet into it and press pulverize.
B. Laugh. He’s got a lot to learn about gift buying, but you know he means well.
C. Make him a smoothie.
6. What best describes your behavior at restaurants?
A. You send food back 9 times out of 10 (it’d be 10 out of 10, were it not for your fear of chef spit).
B. Now and then you request some fine tuning. But mostly you go with the flow.
C. You once ate an entire kid’s meal due to waitress error (PB&J at a business lunch!).
7. Your boss asks the team what they think of her latest idea. It’s a stinker! You:
A. Plug your nose and shoot her a double thumbs-down.
B. Admit that you have reservations, and then calmly make your case.
C. Focus on picking imaginary lint off your pants
8. Someone shoves you as you board a crowded subway train. You:
A. Whirl around and kick the offender in the shins.
B. Make eye contact with whoever did it, smiling when they mumble an apology.
C. Automatically say, “I’m sorry!”
Mostly A’s: The Battle Ax
Wow! Have you ever let a single thing go? This level of head butting is nothing short of exhausting. In the politics of life, knowing when to clam up is just as important as knowing when to speak up. Because you’re constantly doing the latter, people around you may have begun to tune you out. If you want to win back their attention, you’ll have to turn down the volume for a while. Forgive the poor guy who accidentally steps on your shoe—and reserve your energy for the really big fish.
Mostly B’s: The Diplomat
While you are certainly no doormat, you do pick your battles carefully. So when it’s time to take a stand, your voice packs a powerful punch. Because you aren’t afraid to speak up, you tend to handle things quickly and efficiently. People respect your straightforward, no-nonsense approach to conflict, and see your openness as a sign of integrity. Though it’s counterintuitive, speaking up when you disagree with someone can actually make them trust you more!
Mostly C’s: Miss Meek
A lifetime of bottled-up emotion has turned you into a pressure cooker of a gal—and sooner or later you’re gonna blow. Eventually your true feelings will leak out sideways (i.e., talking smack behind your best friend’s back), and it won’t be pretty. Though you think people wouldn’t like you if you stood up for yourself, in reality the exact opposite is true. People prefer to surround themselves with those who give it to them straight. Try starting small (next time your steak is cold, alert the waitress). Then, slowly work on strengthening your conflict muscle. If you practice in situations that aren’t so emotionally loaded, you’ll eventually be able to hold your own in even the touchiest situations.