Quiz: Are You the Office Gossip?
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Are you obsessed with knowing every detail of your co-workers’ business? Do you log hours in the break room, rehashing “the latest”? Have you ever been busted for spilling the beans but still can’t zip that lip? Take this quiz and find out if you’ve been branded a big mouth.
1. Your officemate is pregnant but wants to keep it quiet for a few more months. You stay mum until:
a. Hell freezes over. You’d never breathe a word.
b. Your boyfriend asks how your day went. He could care less and now it’s out of your system.
c. You flag down the first person you spot in the hallway.
2. Rumor has it that the company patriarch is ditching his wife for his secretary. You:
a. Flat out ignore it. Other people’s personal lives are none of your beeswax.
b. Tsk-tsk to yourself, but choose not to repeat something so potentially slanderous.
c. Ring up Page 6 and offer yourself as an inside source.
3. Word is a male employee was fired for having porn on his computer. You:
a. Exit whenever it gets mentioned. The subject simply isn’t work-appropriate.
b. Giggle a little bit (after all, he did always seem a bit off), but don’t pass it on.
c. Put out an APB telling anyone who’ll listen. Who cares if it’s true!?
4. You stumble across a colleague’s potentially humiliating online dating profile. You:
a. Close your browser and erase your history. There are some things you just don’t want to know.
b. Smirk for a second, but decide to keep it to yourself. After all, she’s only human.
c. Send out a mass e-mail with an embedded link.
5. Your boss tells you who she’s tapped for promotion before it’s announced. You:
a. Feel proud that she confided in you. Clearly, she appreciates your discretion.
b. Have a tiny temptation to blab, but understand that this is a test you must pass.
c. Make a beeline for the soon-to-be promoted and loudly congratulate her.
6. During a bathroom visit you hear someone crying in a stall. You know those shoes! You:
a. Turn on your heel and skedaddle. You want to respect her privacy.
b. Ask her if everything is all right, then take her tearful response to your grave.
c. Offer her a shoulder to cry on, then repeat every word she confides in you.
7. A co-worker returns after a leave of absence. You suspect rehab. You:
a. Refuse to theorize. What does it matter as long as she does her work?
b. Wonder about it but stop short of betting in the office pool.
c. Hum Amy Winehouse’s “Rehab” every time she exits a room.
8. A colleague comes back from vacation with a brand-new rack. You:
a. Focus on maintaining eye contact when you can’t avoid her altogether.
b. Ask her for the name of the “resort” she stayed at. It clearly did wonders for her appearance.
c. Refer to her hereafter as Tits McGee—to erase all doubt anyone may have had.
Mostly A’s: The Vault
When it comes to secrets, you’re a virtual black hole. Things go in, but nothing (and I mean nothing) comes out. While this is certainly admirable and could take you far in business, you run the risk of coming off as too perfect. Remember, performance isn’t everything. Love ’em or hate ’em—office politics count. Gossip fosters an atmosphere of intimacy, and people bond as they share information. Keep on keeping the secrets of others, but divulge a funny or embarrassing story (or three) about yourself to your co-workers every now and again. You’ll strengthen alliances and may even make a friend or two.
Mostly B’s: The Good-Natured Gossip
Sure, you appreciate an inside scoop now and then, but not enough to let it threaten a friendship or derail your career. You understand that women trade information like a commodity, and you make it work for you. You avoid repeating anything malicious but will pass on an amusing anecdote now and then. After all, it never hurts to remind co-workers that you’re down-to-earth—humor is a great equalizer!
Mostly C’s: The Blabbermouth
For you, gossip is a full-blown addiction and you are completely strung out on office drama! Ask yourself: Is the thrill you get from the latest dish worth more than your reputation? This level of indiscretion threatens your ability to form true partnerships (in any area of your life) and could destroy an otherwise promising career. Trust is fragile—if your boss senses you can’t be trusted, it’ll be next to impossible to change her mind. Time to go cold turkey—find a new way to relate to people ASAP!