I am an e-mail addict. There, I’ve said it. And I’m not talking about the messages I send to my friends and family. I send e-mails constantly at work, even to the people just across the hall. It’s my preferred method of communication, and lately, it’s become a problem.
I began to realize that I was an excessive e-mailer when I started to wish I could send my boss instant messages. It just seemed so much easier than actually picking up the phone and talking to her. And then there was the time I refused to speak to my Web programmer when he called, following up via e-mail just a few minutes later.
Was I antisocial? Yes. Was I becoming too reliant on electronic mail and other completely nonpersonal forms of communication? I was beginning to think so. Here’s how I battled my phone phobia—may these simple steps help you with yours:
Face your fears. For the first week of my anti-phone-phobia efforts I forced myself to take and return all phone calls, while drastically cutting down on e-mail. I talked to sales reps that I hadn’t spoken to in ages. I reconnected with my co-workers. I made new friends by finally making voice-to-voice contact with people that I’d previously only communicated with by typing. It forced me to remember that connections are good, and personal connections can be infinitely helpful in the business world. Just think how much easier it is to diss someone when you don’t know who they are. But when she’s a buddy, someone you talk to at least once a month, sidelining her and going with the competition just doesn’t seem right.
Categorize the address book. Do you know anyone who never, ever responds to e-mail? You send a couple, wait for a week, and finally (you’re just a bit peeved by now) pick up the phone? If this is the case, why are you e-mailing them at all? After learning how to speak politely on the phone again, I took a hard look at my address book and broke it into two categories: good e-mailers and bad. The bad e-mailers weren’t just poor responders. They were also vague responders, people I always had to follow up with, no matter what. In either case, these were people to deal with via phone call.
Realize the power of the spoken word. While in the midst of my quest to reacquaint myself with the phone, I had a couple of moments that reminded me how good human interaction could be. Episode No. 1: a phone call from a client who ordered $700 worth of wine for his new cellar. We had a great conversation, his sale made my week, and I was ecstatic. Episode No. 2: I answered the phone to the voice of an editor from a glossy food and wine magazine. She was calling to inquire about our wine and if I would be interested in sending her some. Um, yes! Psychologists call this positive reinforcement, moments that make you want to keep doing the new habit you’re trying to hone. And I can tell you it works: All of a sudden, I was hooked on the phone.
Know when to call. Let’s be real. Communicating via e-mail is often easier and quicker than picking up the phone. But there are times when you should use the phone, no matter what. Let’s review some of these make-it-or-break-it situations: when you’re starting or ending working relationships that matter. When you’re making changes or adjustments under deadline or when a lot of money is at stake. Anytime there is the opportunity for miscommunication. When you’re tempted to use those annoying e-mail smiley faces or frowns to express emotions. If you think it would be much easier to talk about something than to write it. When the recipient is important enough that he or she deserves the respect and courtesy of human contact. In other words, just pick up the phone!
As a newly reformed excessive e-mailer/phone phobic, my last piece of advice is this: When in doubt, always, always pick up the phone. You’ll be happy that you did.
