16 February 2009
10:10 a.m.
The office mates are history and even though I'll be moving soon so corporate can consolidate office space, I currently have my own office. Yay! But all that privacy almost turned into a big fat nightmare this morning. I got in early today so that I could get a jump start on the week. The financial climate, as you may know, is scary as f@#k, so I've been burning the candle on both ends in an effort to become indispensable here.
What? You think I don't read Nicole's advice? Come on people! Anyway, I'm here early and guess who happens to walk by? Yep. So after a drive by, Mr. Man saunters into my office and quietly closes the door behind him. I seriously thought I was gonna faint. But the thing is, I'm so paranoid about possible job loss, that I found myself distracted by a wave of neurotic fears. What if my office is bugged? What if there's a hidden camera? Like I work at a plutonium plant or something.
Anyway, this wackadoo line of thinking totally helped me not get sucked in for those first few critical seconds. I will not lie people, he looked good. OK great. But as he stood there looking at me, I shook my head (I know!) and pointed toward the door (I know!!), and get this... I said, "out." I said it really calmly, but honestly, I have no idea where it came from! He must have been as shocked as I was, but he just flashed a really sly smile, turned, and left. It was all I could do not to follow him down the hall yelling, "never mind!"
Now I feel totally unstable. I'm gonna go work from home so I can take about a hundred cold showers and yell,"holy crap" throughout the day without fear of being heard. And yes, ice cream will be involved. I feel a nauseating combination of pride and crippling regret. Never before have I wanted and simultaneously not wanted something this much!
