21 Aug 2007 ›  2:55pm

Wow, it’s been forever since I’ve had a proper workday! Jasper is out sick again (cue eye roll), and I have to say it feels kind of awesome to get stuff done. I’m in one of those moods where I could happily make copies and sniff markers all day long. I don’t know if you know this, but I absolutely adore office supplies. It’s borderline OCD. I could stay inside for an entire weekend enjoying the brilliance of the P-touch label maker. This is not something I’m throwing out there for a theoretical ha ha. It has actually happened. More than once. Such is the stuff of memories.

This reminds me of a recurring dream I used to have about doing it in the supply closet. In case you’re wondering; no, by “doing it” I do not mean labeling my stapler with my address and phone number. I mean doing IT. I used to have this particular sex dream all the time before I got a corporate job. I would innocently go to the supply closet. The (do not take points off for lack of originality) stranger would already be inside, searching for the P-touch (just kidding, I made that last part up). Without speaking, we would instantly go at it, sending Post-its and ink cartridges flying.

Of course, after about five minutes of working here, I discovered that I find corporate businessmen to be about as sexy as an acrylic afghan. I haven’t had the dream since.