27 Aug 2008 ›  12:30pm

I swear… if one more of my coworkers come back from “vacation” with huge boobs I’m going to scream. It’s not that I am anti phony baloney or anything. I support nearly all forms of self improvement however shallow-endy they may be. It’s the big fat lie part that bugs me. Please do not tell tales that require my long term participation! I can’t just walk up and compliment you and ask to touch ‘em like I could if we were – say, working in a strip club together. Instead I have to ask about your vacation, not roll my eyes when you answer, struggle to make eye contact, etc. See what I mean? My officemate, aka Petunia just came back from “Mexico” with a brand new shiny pair. So there’s that. She could have at least dressed baggy for a few weeks to throw us of the booby trail – Don’t you think?

In other, other news, I have that set-up date (courtesy of Ali) this weekend. Ben (that’s his name) and I went back and forth via phone a million times but our schedules finally aligned, so it is officially on. He was semi-articulate and wasn’t chewing food or anything during any of our conversations. So… yay I guess. Just focus on the positive, focus on the positive.