24 Oct 2007 ›  10:00am

Yes, I realize that the title of this blog entry says (perhaps unwisely) everything that needs to be said about Naomi’s ensemble today. I realize it’s putting the punch before the joke, but whatever. When it comes to horror, is there any point in being coy? I mean, even if Naomi was dripping in Chanel from the waist down (ha ha ha) it couldn’t begin to neutralize the psychic damage her sweater is doing to others. I suppose I can only speak for myself – but I assure you, this sweater will haunt my dreams and I’m pretty sure it’s to blame for the gnarly cramps that are presently making my life a living hell. On the upside, I did get to say, “Wow Naomi, you look scary as F*#k today,” right to her face. Sadly, courtesy of country relatives, I am all too familiar with the abomination that is the Christmas sweater. . But Halloween? She’s an evil genius. Never in my life have I seen anyone serve up such heaping piles of ugly with such regularity and freshness.

I know I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating – whenever Naomi takes the time to assemble another one of her bedazzled/acrylic/appliquéd masterpieces, I am forced to pause and concede that she really does work her ass off. I mean, bless her heart, it is truly mind-boggling that she could have climbed so far up the corporate ladder in a company that puts so much stock in appearance.