The Many, Mini Tours Of Bloke
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03 Mar 2008 ›
9:28am
Record companies ‘aint what they used to be. Not that I actually know what I’m talking about. I mean, everything I’ve learned about the decadent Zeppelin-rock years I learned by watching VH-1 just like everyone else. I’ve certainly never been shagged on a private jet by a guy wearing fringe for example. Though, truth be told, such is the stuff of my fantasies (minus the fringe.)
But a least I DO remember a time when the label bastards bothered to tell a dude in advance if he was going to be on the road for a nice long stretch. Sure, this sort of detail may not matter to the junkie, couch-surfer bands (whose drummer always gets arrested in Cleveland for trying to Fed Ex himself a couple grams of tar, bringing the tour to an end in less than week anyway.) But a guy with his shit together kinda needs to know these things in order to make the appropriate arrangements. Maybe he owns a friggin’ plant that needs watering (ever think of that, you evil execs?) Maybe he wants to sublet his apartment temporarily since he won’t need it. Or maybe wants to TELL HIS FUCKING GIRLFRIEND IN ADVANCE! Instead, Bloke’s record company sent him out on a four night gig which never really ended. They continue to nickel and dime him with three more dates here, four more dates there, and a quick pop over to Asia dontcha know. And before he/we knew it, a month had trickled by and Bloke had only slept at home twice.
I hate to say it but I’m gonna have to learn to stop laughing like a 13 year old every time B attempts to instigate phone sex. Otherwise we’ll never make it through this.