23 Jul 2008 ›  10:10am

So last weekend Ali and I went to a lil’ bitty Italian carnival in Williamsbeard*. It was hilarious. They crammed full-size carnival rides into the middle of a tiny residential street complete with real live carni-guys on the mic, a large selection of funnel cakes, a clown shooting game… etc, etc., etc.

Although I must say that the rides were sort of third (ok eighth) rate. I’m pretty sure they got them all at some kind of amusement park closeout sale. And even in that scenario, we are talking last day, clearance aisle. One was a festive take on the Disney tea cup ride (spin, barf, spin – ‘member?) but instead of tea cups, the cars were little airplanes, and instead of sitting up you sort of laid down into them on your stomach with your butt sticking up into the air and got buckled in from behind. So everyone kinda looked like they had just been busted and were waiting to be cuffed by federal agents. Either that or they were waiting for something much, much worse. Anyway, I hate to ruin the suspense but no—I didn’t buy a ticket. Instead I ate two different Italian ices and got a little tipsy. Tipsy enough that I told Ali I’d let her set me up on a blind date. But I don’t have to worry, because it’s not like her track record for setting me up is horrifying or anything. Oh wait—that’s right, it is.

*btw—hello! It’s July and it’s boiling. Maybe it’s time for all the Williamsburg guys to give the bushy beards a rest till fall? Seriously guys, you look about as ridiculous at those chicks that waddled around in Uggs and mini skirts last summer.