30 Nov 2007› 4:45pm
Ali and I went out to lunch today, which is never an easy thing to pull off. But the stars were aligned because both Claire and Joy were away. Ali’s hit a rough patch. I guess she’s starting to realize that she’s outgrowing Jule but she’s just not quite ready to leave him. The tacky French maid costume definitely worked its magic and he’s off go-go bars for now. But Ali says that deep down she knows it’s too late. He’s sprung a leak and it’s only a matter of time before she’ll be bailing out buckets of water.
So I did my best to cheer her up by playing “there’s your boyfriend,” with every creepy guy on the street. Anyway, Ali and I were waiting for a light to change when a goblin-man-bear hybrid pops out of a manhole. It was just like that carnival game where you hit the beavers with the hammer! I don’t know what he’d been doing underground but it couldn’t have been pleasant, because on top of loosing the genetic lottery he was also visibly crabby. “There’s your boyfriend,” I said, before I could stop myself. I have no idea how he heard me over the traffic but he was not amused (nor was he, apparently, interested in being Ali’s boyfriend). “The two of yez are skinny, ugly bitches, why dontcha eat something yez ugly bitches!” He bellowed.
There’s nothing like being loudly dissed by an ogre to give a girl her perspective back. Ali and I laughed our asses off for the next hour, while obediently devouring an obscenely huge lunch.
