Naomi Raids Humpty Dumpty’s Closet Again
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10 Jan 2008 ›
5:20pm
You know it’s really winter when Naomi brings the crusty/shiny stretch pants that I love so very much out of retirement. And what are stretch pants really, without a darling kitty-cat appliquéd sweatshirt? Ever since Claire resumed behaving like a see-you-next-Tuesday, Naomi has regressed to her old ways – taking each and every opportunity to pluck out a jaunty little tune upon my nerve strings. Every time Claire cranks up the ice queen, Naomi counters, by boosting her culty, can-do attitude to a record high. This, in turn, has caused my homicidal tendencies to spike. According to Naomi, every idea of Claire’s is “amazing,” and “completely doable!” even (especially) when they are clearly neither.
Claire: You know what I see for ’09? A nice Holstein print.
Naomi: Oh yes, completely chic.!
Claire: And I’m thinking we should revisit fanny packs.
Naomi: It’s like you are reading my mind!
Ok, so those are both teensie exaggerations. In actuality Claire has great taste. But still. Her ideas are often impossible to produce and Naomi makes it hard for anyone to actually say so when she’s all hopped up on ass-kiss fumes. I mean, when you’re in a meeting with four other people do YOU think it’s acceptable to give your boss standing ovations (complete with frenzied clapping) after every sentence? Yes it’s that subtle.