9 Sept 2009
4:35p.m.
Just for today, and just because I'm personally sick to death of thinking about it, let's pretend that my little relapse into make-out-slutdom never happened, shall we?
Great, cause seriously honey, there's way more fun stuff to talk about this week. For one thing, Naomi and the dude she hooked up with in Vegas have officially embarked upon a long distance relationship.Know how I know? Because I helped her set up video skype on her laptop so later, she can whisper sweet nothings to him while gazing into his jumpy, slightly-time-delayed eyes. Ah... modern love...sigh. He (let's just keep calling him Humpty) lives in Kansas,bless his heart. I advised Naynay not to skype the Humpster during office hours—because:
A. technically the entire conversation would then be company property
and
B.
I shudder to think what would happen should one of them decide to
get...gulp...sexy (I am actually pausing to shudder as I type).
Then,
I coached her on how to position herself (maybe not THAT close to the
camera, one giant nostril is probably not what he was hoping for), how
to light herself (putting a candle directly under your face like that
makes you look like you're about to tell a ghost story), and was about
to propose she change out her frosty coral lipstick before calling him,
when I realized—wait. this guy knows exactly what she looks like.
And he LIKES IT.
Sometimes I love the world. I mean, there really is someone out there for everyone.
