21 Aug 2009
9:00 am
Newsflash!
Kelly, beloved friend, metal head extraordinaire, king of
the godforsaken IT department, and the number one source for
juicy-licious corporate gossip... is getting married. I know!
He just took took me downstairs, bought me a cup of 'bucks and told me the news. It was adorable. He's so excited. He's been with his girlfriend Jasmine for about two years now, and in that time he's been promoted several times. So at this point, Kelly is heading up his own nerd army down there in the sub basement. I mean, if I were to, say, throw my laptop out the window in a fit of rage, IT would have it reassembled, back on my desk and functioning faster than ever before in less than half an hour—just due to my friendship with their fearless headbanging leader. But I digress.
The thing is, ever since Kelly told me about his pending metal nuptials, I've had a gnarly case of the blues. What
is it about other people getting engaged that causes you to reassess
where you are in life and conclude that you, my dear, are a big fat
loser? It makes me feel so grossly typical.
I guess it's
because Bloke and I have been on and off for those same two years, and
because I've also been working here for those same two years - and now
Kelly (all of a sudden) kinda has his whole life figured out. Whereas,
I... uh... don't.
Anyway, it's really kicking my ass. I mean I hate to bring practical
matters into my love life because it's pretty much against my religion
(let's just say I pray to the church of tipsy, slutty, youthful fun)
but, what if I'm wasting precious years on Bloke? I mean, he's not
exactly FUTURE material. But then again neither am I.
Yikes.
