03 Dec 2007 ›  9:20am

Things are going so well with Bloke that it’s definitely getting hard for me to keep my zipper zipped. True, I’m still enjoying the sexual tension—though I will admit it is becoming borderline twisted. He took me on a romantic carriage ride through Central Park the other night and it was so dreamy. Yep! And then he helped me diversify my portfolio. Just kidding. Relax. We’ve been going to lots of little rock shows (in a carriage! OK just kidding again), hanging out at the Waverly and Beatrice and basically being big make-out whores. Though it’s been a blast, I do believe my chaste run is winding down. My gut tells me that if I take it any further he’ll start to suspect that something is terribly wrong with my lady business.