Career Girl Blog

Hola Hades!

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13 Dec 2007 ›

6:55pm

Claire is clearly punishing me for some unknown sin that I mindlessly committed in the recent past. And baby, it musta been ba-a-a-ad! She is making my life downright miserable lately! I only wish my atonement were four hundred Hail Marys or the like.

Alas, nope.

Instead, I had to fold my ego up into tiny pieces, stuff her into the bottom drawer of my filing cabinet and tell her to kindly keep her thoughts to herself while I stepped out to do a few errands. Even after I slammed that door shut I could hear her screaming “Quit, damn it! Quit right now. Ok, how bout right now? Or maybe now?” etc. etc…

An excerpt of today’s To Do list for your perusal
1. Go to Smythson and take a look at the personal stationery options. Describe the best ones to Claire over the phone. Do not react as she declares all of my suggestions “gross.”

2. Source some new and exciting snack foods with under 45 calories each, no sugar, no fake sugar, no dairy, no wheat, no dry ingredient of any kind and no water content. (I’m only lying about two of those things) Isn’t that enough? No? Crap. Okay.

3. Order a car to pick up Jasper at JFK where she may or may not get off a plane she may or may not have bothered to board in Geneva. Speak to the (increasingly incensed) driver of said car every five minutes for a period of 6 hours until Jasper magically materializes three flights later – rolling her eyes, snapping her gum (I imagine) and asking the driver if he has any weed (true!).

4. Talk to corporate appropriations about installing a bidet in Claire’s private bathroom. After watching something on PBS about global warming, Claire decided that going toilet paper free (rather than SUV free I guess) is the least she can do. Apparently you can retrofit existing toilets with a device that leaves you squeaky clean and Massengill fresh. Explain all of the above to an elderly schoolmarm/warden of a woman in the sub-basement as she glares at me and grimaces in disgust.

5. Take own life/Alt/Move home with mommy/Alt/Ben&Jerry’s + Bloke + Liquor + Possible screening of the inspirational film, Bring It On.

Written by: Career Girl

My name is Career Girl and this is my blog. I write mostly (but not always) about my experiences at work. I hope that by writing about work I will stop wanting to kill everyone there. So far, no dice - but hope springs eternal right?