11 May 2009
2:10 pm
On Friday I met Bloke for coffee as planned. First of all, I'll just say that the butterfly garden that he generates in my tummy was back from jump street. It was so intense, it completely counteracted the casual coffee date-ness that I'd carefully constructed in an effort to protect myself from just this type of fluttering. I swear, we might as well have been sloshed and naked. Not that we spent hours gazing into each others eyes or anything. The magic crushing or whathaveyou, lasted for maybe five minutes before it was trod upon by outside forces. Here's the thing, I am an idiot and here's why.
Bloke and I met for coffee at the Starbucks downstairs from my office. Mm-hmm, yeah—and it was all my idea. I guess I was trying to play it cool when he asked if I'd see him. I mean, how can you try less
hard than "meet me downstairs?" Somehow, when we were setting it up, it
seemed super important that he come to me, and that I choose a meeting
place that oozed I-don't-give-a-crap atmosphere. So we're talking, it's clear that the chemistry is still 11 on a scale of one to three, blahdee blahdee blah—and suddenly Naomi is standing next to my table with a big grin on her face.
And
because it is spring, she is wearing a red leather blazer with shoulder
pads, some sort of scabby skirt, and shoe boots with knee-high
fishnets.
She looks like an extra from Michael Jackson's Thriller, but I digress. Anyway, here's a replay.
Naomi: Hiyyyyyyyyyyyyy! So, is this mister art dealer?
Bloke: Uh...
Me: Naomi, this is Bloke. Bloke, Naomi. Naomi works in my office, she just won a company-wide award for saving the most paper.
Naomi: Saving the most office supplies.
Me: Saving the most office supplies yeah.
Naomi: It was a beautiful, classy plaque... engraved...
Me: Anyway, Bloke is a musician, and uh he's in town! And uh, we are grabbing a quick cup of coffee. So yeah.
Naomi: Oh, NOT the boyfriend then.
Me: No boyfriend.
Naomi: Not the boyfriend... in the art world?
Me: No. No boyfriend.
Naomi: Well darn it, I have an art question for him! But I guess it'll just have to keep.
Bloke: Sorry to disappoint.
Me: Well! Have a good weekend Naomi.
Awkward pause.
Me: See you Monday Naomi...
Awkward pause
Bloke: Great meeting you. Again, terribly sorry I'm not an art dealer. Bravo on the plaque.
Naomi: Oh thank you! Yes well, enjoy!
Me: Buh-bye.
Aaaaaaand she finally turns and leaves.
So then I'm left with Bloke, who gives me sort of a half assed smile and says,"Nothing serious, huh?"
Cringe.
