27 Aug 2007 ›  11:25 pm

Okay so maybe I’m going to hell for this, but seriously, if you had to walk a mile in my moccasins, girlfriend, you’d be right there with me. Anyway, I came up with (what I considered to be) a simple but effective plan this morning and promptly hauled ass to Naomi’s office to implement my evil doings. I was like, “Listen Naomi, Claire told me confidentially that she really wishes you’d spend more time with Jasper. I mean, she knows that Jasper could learn a
lot from you. Honestly, I think Jasper really looks up to you, she’s just shy. No no, that snotty act is just a defense mechanism, inside she’s scared little girl,” etc.

Nothing excites Naomi more than impressing Claire. I mean, it’s pathetic how easy it is to get her revved. When she’s really pumped, she looks like a devotee in one of those evangelical revival tents (post healing) – all glassy eyes, hallelujahs and sweat. Anyway, it worked freakishly well and Naomi hasn’t let Jasper out of her sight all day. I gotta be honest – I was beyond desperate to shake her. The smell of Mystic-tan, day in and day out, was giving me hives.

PS: can I get a witness? Cause, oh yes, this is the last week of Jasper’s internship!