31 Mar 2008 ›  4:50pm

Okay, so for the first time ever. I officially have an office crush. Now I know what you’re thinking. No. I have not crossed over the line from happy fag hag to unknowing beard candidate. I am not completely clueless—and I certainly know my gays. Believe it or not—there is actually a straight man on my new team! I only met him yesterday because he travels extensively and just returned from India with this amazing collection of jaquard. He is dreamy—as in grown-up-man looks-good-in-a-suit dreamy, as in I couldn’t handle him in real life dreamy. I know that sounds weird—it’s just that I have no grown-up man experience. I mean, I can charm the pants off of a drunken musician, but I don’t have the flash cards for someone who can, say, completely understand a 401(k).

But what am I even talking about??? My dance card is full, right? I know, I know. But Bloke and I had the gnarliest fight the other night, a fight that I’m afraid was completely my fault. I am so totally freaked out by his super-model tour manager that I can’t relax and trust him like I know I should. It’s a sickness I tell you! Ugh—therapy. Yes. I know. But in the meantime I can enjoy this harmless crushing. It makes the day go by so much faster.