Ali’s A**hole
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26 Feb 2008 ›
1:15pm
Well Ali is still seeing (let’s just call him) Biff. She says it’s just good fun, nothing serious. But I seriously want to push him in front of a train. Not that I’ll ever have the chance, because Biff would never be caught dead riding mass trans. Anyway, I went out with them again the other night and can honestly tell you that it will never, ever, ever happen again. He is intolerably condescending to the tenth power. He did everything short of ordering me a Shirley Temple, swear to God. I mentioned that he’s only a few years older than me right? But seriously, he talks to me like I’m a 16 year old tourist from Alabama who just stepped off the Statue Of Liberty ferry.
He talked me through the wine ordering process (you’re kidding, you smell the cork? I thought you were supposed to chew it up, swirl it around in your mouth and spit it at the waiter!), He corrected my Italian pronunciation when I ordered (who gives a fuck?! It wasn’t exactly dinner at the White House. I mean it was a yummy restaurant but there were tranny hookers right outside the friggin’ window), and he actually said, “You’ll understand when you get older,” when I told him his favorite presidential candidate was a douchebag. Yes, I realize that I was baiting him with my juvenile usage of the word douchebag, but for chrissakes let me live a little!
I hate him. The end.